Disney to sanitize history by removing Pirates Of The Caribbean’s “wench auction”

Some moments in mankind’s history were extremely rough and scary, but while Hollywood movies usually give us clean-cut heroes and happy endings, we could always count on one place to show things how they really were without smoothing down the rough edges. That place, of course, is on the Pirates Of The Caribbean rides at various Disney parks around the world, which are the only amusement park attractions that bother to teach kids of all ages about the golden age of piracy and the misadventures of an actual historical figure named Johnny Depp.

Sadly, while real-life pirates were able to fight off angry ghosts and squid-faced villains, they’re no match for the crushing wave of political correctness. As reported by The Huffington Post, Disney announced this week that the Pirates Of The Caribbean rides at Disneyland and Walt Disney World will be updated to remove a scene in which tied-up “wenches” are auctioned off as “brides.” The Huffington Post story doesn’t offer an exact reason for why Disney felt the need to make this change, but perhaps it had something to do with the fact that original scene was about people who are about to be raped.

Whatever the reason, the scene will now be altered to reflect our post-Wonder Woman society in which people have realized that women can do anything that men can do. In place of the line of wenches, the new scene will feature a group of people being forced to surrender their possessions to the pirates. Also, a redheaded woman who got catcalled by the pirates in the original version (“We wants the redhead!”), will now become a gun-toting pirate herself. You can see concept art of this below:

In a blog post, Disney says these updates should be completed by 2018.