From the moment people heard the audio of Donald Trump bragging to Billy Bush about how he’s allowed to grope women as much as he wants because he’s famous, Trump and his campaign have done everything they can to blame someone other than Trump himself for the comments. They blamed intimidating alpha male Billy Bush, they blamed the public’s lack of tolerance for totally normal “locker room talk,” and they probably even tried to blame President Obama in some way. As it turns out, though, the real culprit wasn’t someone at all. It was something.
According to an interview that Trump gave with Catholic TV network EWTN that will air tonight (excerpts of which were obtained by The Washington Post), the real thing we should all be mad at regarding that recording is the microphone itself. As Trump eloquently explained, “the microphones, I mean to be honest should, you know, should never have been on,” with him later reiterating that it was “locker room talk.” The Washington Post story also notes that Trumps claims he “made his apologies” for the comments. Unfortunately, Trump didn’t drop one of his usual “when I’m president” threats about what he’ll do to the microphone if he wins, but we imagine it might end up sharing a cell with Crooked Hillary herself.
Elsewhere in the chat, EWTN gently tested Trump’s religious bona fides by asking him softball questions that he just barely managed to connect with. In response to a question about what he prays for, Trump said, “I don’t want to talk to you about that, I mean, I pray,” and when asked about his favorite saints, Trump named Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul II—the chocolate ice cream and pepperoni pizza of saints, respectively. He also declared that he’ll repeal the Johnson Amendment if he wins, which is a tax code that prevents tax-exempt religious institutions from openly advocating their political views, but that’s not especially funny.
The full interview will air tonight.