Doomsday Is The Best Awful Movie In Theaters Now

There are terrible movies (Love Actually, Armageddon) that can't be over fast enough, and then there are enjoyably terrible movies that people can watch and laugh with/at over and over again. Doomsday falls far into the latter category. The characters are flat, the plot is beyond stupid, the action and the gore are plentiful, the actors are always either over or under acting, and the movie borrows from so many other movies it may as well come with an homage checklist. But it is also highly watchable, mainly because it is so completely ridiculous.

Is it knowingly ridiculous? It doesn't really matter when it comes to enjoying the movie in all its ludicrous glory, but probably. As Steve Hyden pointed out in his review, Doomsday is 100 minutes of director Neil Marshall going "balls-out with his wildest '80s sci-fi-action movie fantasies." It is equal parts Escape From New York, Mad Max, 28 Days Later, Bentley commercial, and medieval action movie. Who wouldn't want to see that?

Evidently, some people. More specifically, the three people I saw walk out of the theater when I went to see Doomsday this weekend. Maybe they were expecting a smarter, or at least a credible look at post-apocalyptic Britain. Maybe they thought the line "Hungry? Try a piece of your friend." crossed the line. Maybe that superfluous gimp was just too superfluous for them. Whatever it was, it's clear that they were unprepared for just how ridiculously over-the-top Doomsday is.

To prevent that from happening again, I've put together a list of questions answered by Doomsday. Read it before you decide to go see the movie and save yourself the trouble of walking out.

Questions Answered By Doomsday:

—What does a rabbit look like when mercilessly shot by automated guns?

—Does mumbling make you an effective villain?

—Where are Bentleys hidden in post-apocalyptic Scotland?

—If the population of Scotland was largely wiped out due to a killer virus and the entire country quarantined, would they ever run out of hair dye and/or gasoline?

—Which two eras would society in post-apocalyptic Scotland automatically and completely revert to within the space of 30 years?

—Will prosthetic eyes with hidden cameras be the future equivalent of a mirror on a stick?

—Does true love in post-apocalyptic Scotland involve a severed head?

—What would make a good Halloween costume for people tired of dressing up like Mad Max characters? [Hint.]

—In the future, do criminals on mysterious ships dress like Foxy Brown for some unknown reason?

—Punk cannibals: wrong, or just the kind of people you might (in the future) want to become ruler of?

 
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