Dumb man fucks up drinking water

By William Hughes  |  November 15, 2017 | 10:58pm
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Amidst all the bad tweets, obnoxious attacks on his enemies, and general, all-purpose odiousness, it can be easy to let ourselves be distracted from the fact that Donald Trump is also, at his core, just kind of a big dumb awkward goober. Luckily, the universe was happy to provide a reminder of Trump’s inner oaf today, in the form of a 20-second clip of him attempting to drink a sip of water that managed to illustrate almost every single one of the many ways in which he sucks.

In the interest of getting as much distraction from our real lives, and Trump’s control over them, as possible, let’s break this moment down for a minute. First, there’s the inherently pissy response the president exhibits when he can’t find a bottle of water in his White House podium, a snide, “They don’t have water, that’s okay” that drips with a repressed, entitled, intern-firing rage. Then, once he’s finally been directed to the bottle of water cunningly hidden one whole foot to his right, we’re treated to a long, dead-eyed stare to camera as he slooooooooowly twists the cap off the bottle. All before the punchline, a comically tiny sip that must have delivered an entire tablespoon of liquid to his apparently parched throat.

Many people have pointed out that Trump’s failure at performing one of the basic actions of human life was similar to one he routinely mocked opponent Marco Rubio for back during the Republican primary. Among those remarking on the similarity: Rubio himself, who roasted Trump on Twitter for his amateur water drinker’s technique:

Meanwhile, the nation’s real heroes—Wikipedia vandals—were already on the case to immortalize this important moment in the American political discourse:

 
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