Dwayne “The Rock And One True Scorpion King” Johnson is a Baller
Top pick
Ballers (HBO, 10 p.m.): We can’t imagine anyone pitched this series any harder than just walking into the room and declaring, “THE ROCK AS A PILL POPPING FORMER FOOTBALL STAR, AND ALSO, BOOBS PROBABLY!” We also can’t blame whichever HBO execs greenlit said pitch. Joshua Alston wasn’t impressed with the first few episodes, but those of you who watch can look forward to Kyle Fowle’s weekly coverage.
Also noted
True Detective (HBO, 9 p.m.): The second season opens with Vince Vaughn, Colin Farrell, Rachel McAdams, and Taylor Kitsch standing in a circle, staring at each other. Vince glares, then tears up. Colin blinks. Taylor coughs. Rachel tries to forget her hard gambling lady cop’s name is “Antigone.” Brandon Nowalk did not care for what he saw, but Erik Adams will be on deck weekly to parse through every harrowing, grim detail.
The Brink (HBO, 10:30 p.m.): Jack Black, Tim Robbins, and Pablo Schrieber, are three men in Pakistan in the middle of a geopolitical crisis. It is also a comedy. Erik Adams was amused, but felt the satire lacked bite. Weekly reviewer Vikram Murthi is on standby with his own thoughts.
Poldark (PBS, 9 p.m.): A remake of the 70’s British soap has Aidan Turner playing a former redcoat who goes home to Cornwall to find that Things Have Changed. There is also a “spunky miner’s daughter.” You guys: Poldark might just be the best thing.
The Peabody Awards (Pivot, 8 p.m.): Whosoever can find Pivot on their cable package can see the awards show that honored Inside Amy Schumer, Jane The Virgin, and more.
Regular coverage
Salem (WGN, 10 p.m.)
Halt And Catch Fire (AMC, 10 p.m.)
Penny Dreadful (Showtime, 10 p.m.)
Classic coverage
All hail Simpsons (Classic), which is darkening TV Club Classic’s doorstep once more! Alasdair Wilkins is starting the engine back up with “The City Of New York Vs. Homer Simpson.”
Television that reminds you it’s summer, go take a walk
Celebrity Family Feud (ABC, 8 p.m.): “Anthony Anderson vs Toni Braxton and Monica Potter vs Curtis Stone.”
Battlebots (ABC, 9 p.m.): BATTLEBOTS: “the epic robot-fighting tournament kicks off as the first round of next generation robots, that promise to be bigger, faster, and stronger than ever before, go head to head.” Like so:
BATTLEBOTS!!!
The Last Ship (TNT, 9 p.m.): “The Last Ship is preparing to set sail again this summer in its quest to save humanity after a devastating pandemic. Eric Dane, Rhona Mitra and Adam Baldwin star in the high-impact series.” Also, this is apparently the second season of The Last Ship.
Love, Again (Hallmark, 8 p.m.): “A couple on the brink of divorce decides to keep their marital woes a secret as they help their daughter plan her wedding. As the two work together on the happy occasion, they soon discover that their own marriage might just be worth saving,” starring gross human Paul Johanssen and Teri Polo.
Tales From The Royal Wardrobe (PBS, 8 p.m.): Hey, this is what counts for summer television over at PBS.
Bar Rescue (Spike, 9 p.m.): The Taff takes on a family bar that’s plummeting thanks to alcoholism. (Yeah, we consider ourselves to be on “The Taff” terms, what of it?)
To Catch A Contractor (Spike, 10 p.m.): The third season premiere is called, “Shred Bath, and Be Gone” because sometimes television is pretty okay.
U.S. Open Golf: Final Round Play (FOX, 2-10:30 p.m.): Yes, that is the right amount of time that FOX has allotted to golf. (Sorry, Golan The Insatiable.)
In case you missed it
Catastrophe: A very appealing new television rom-com premiered on Amazon this weekend, and Molly Eichel will be reviewing it. Two neat things in one!