Come one, come all: It's time to get your bids in for an evil occult soul-selling device on eBay

It can be hard to find the perfect gift for the evil wizard in your life. What kind of present, after all, will excite someone who already owns dozens of black robes, golden chalices, goat skulls, and ritual daggers? Well, it turns out, eBay is currently offering the one item the Satanic priest in your life might not already have: A cursed artifact called The Vessel Of The Ritual Of Damnation.

The Vessel (also referred to as “A Sorcerors Lens”) is currently going for $13,333.33 USD, marked down from its original price of $66,666.66 and ships from California. Its condition is described as “used but absolutely capable of use.” As to what that use entails, the seller says “this extremely rare item was created for use in the Ritual Of Damnation, and it was used to place 3 irremovable marks on the lateral and medial muscle of the right eye.”

“The Ritual Of Damnation was a visible and permanent representation of [the participant’s] confirmation to serve the masters [sic] commands—forever,” the listing continues. This process, we’re told, was popular among “actors, actresses, and entertainers” from the ‘60s to ‘80s who wanted to sell their soul to the devil in exchange for a career and, it seems, needed a cool glass sculpture to make that happen. As for the Vessel’s quality, we’re assured that it “is hand-formed from materials that are cursed and its design allows the subject to view their master as they state the Vow Of Damnation.”

The Vessel has been certified, apparently, by “an engineer and a photo-optical technician to ascertain the veracity on the claims of its properties.” It was donated to the seller’s “research program which has produced a complete encyclopedia of celestial, atmospheric, and surface photographs that demonstrate and confirm the existence of an inhabited realm hiding in plain sight.”

Curious about how a company called Not 4 Profit Inc.—one whose eBay listing notes that sale proceeds go toward “programs that benefit students, seniors, education, and communities”—ended up with such a powerful item, Max Read dug into the item on his Substack and opened an enormous can of worms.

In short: He found that Not 4 Profit, which usually sells old computer accessories and electronics, is run by a man who goes by David Moriyama or, on his YouTube channel, August Day. After learning that Moriyama is big into both technology recycling and the occult, Read managed to get him on the phone for an interview.

Moriyama told Read that his “family is very ancient, very ancient,” explaining that he holds “the first surname on the planet” and that his family is “well known amongst history and legend.” As part of the work he does to honor this legacy, Moriyama started Not 4 Profit, which repurposes old laptops donated to his company and gives them to students. “It is simply the case that the anodyne computer-recycling nonprofit is also, at the same time, an occult-mysteries nonprofit,” Read writes. “And so it is perfectly natural for it to sell both the Vessel Of Damnation and an old Siemens laptop.”

As to how the Vessel itself ended up in Moriyama’s possession, he references his “friends within the Hollywood industry” and the evil device’s historic use as a magical way to help revitalize flagging careers by trading in a soul for new show business opportunities. Read linked to a (very entertaining) video about how that whole process works—and a visit to see the Vessel itself, packed away in an ammo crate and surrounded by Bibles—if you want to go further down this bizarre rabbit hole.

Once you’re done, if you’d like to spend a whole bunch of money on the thing, it’s still up for auction on eBay. Otherwise, check out more of the story on Max Read’s Substack.

[via Boing Boing]

Send Great Job, Internet tips to [email protected]