Between March Of The Penguins' historic international success and recent Oscar nomination, and the tantalizing promise of Bob Saget's forthcoming, sure-to-be-gut-busting Penguins parody, the time has never been better for a heartwarming fact-based tale of adorable-animal survival amid the savage bleakness of an Antarctic winter. That's true even when it's a vehicle for Paul Walker, the blandest of beefcakes.
Eight Below cannily plays to Walker's Troy McClure-like range by casting him as a heroic outdoorsy type with only a single, simple note to play: noble dedication. His Arctic-guide character is dedicated to his job. He's dedicated to equally noble, equally dedicated, equally handsome (albeit in a more weathered, distinguished way) scientist Bruce Greenwood, whose life he saves during a hazardous expedition. And most importantly, he's dedicated to the eight sled dogs he's forced to leave behind after he and all his colleagues must evacuate their posts to avoid a deadly storm.
Eight Below seems to be setting audiences up for a frantic, life-or-death race against time to fly back in and save the dogs, but as the photogenic pooches spend weeks and then months fending pretty well for themselves, the suspense slackens and eventually disappears altogether. The film's curious lack of action and conflict is underlined by perfunctory, no doubt child-boring subplots involving Walker's mild existential ennui and bland on-again, off-again romance with a pretty colleague. Longtime Steven Spielberg collaborator Frank Marshall is smart enough to know his core audience of kiddies came to see the dogs, who take center stage in many of the film's best sequences, especially a jolting leopard-seal attack that's as terrifying as anything in Jurassic Park. It's as if Marshall pulled some strings and somehow managed to get the Spielberg of Jaws to direct just that single spectacular sequence. Otherwise, this passable Disney Channel slot-filler serves as a reminder that the studio's hallowed name has been associated with some of the blandest, as well as best, in children's entertainment.