Eminem named best-selling artist of the decade  

In what is being hailed as a long-overdue victory for white people everywhere, Eminem was recently crowned the best selling artist of the decade, after selling over thirty two million albums. The Detroit rapper sold over ten million copies of The Marshall Mathers LP and nearly went diamond with The Eminem Show. But did he share any of his largesse with his saintly, long-suffering mother? No he did not. Relapse, the now clean and sober Eminem's first album since kicking his addiction to prescription medication, has sold a relatively paltry million and a half copies. The message, clearly, is that winners use drugs.