Most people project their hopes onto political figures, wanting to believe that sometimes a candidate will come along who might correct the wrongs they see in the world around them. British GQ has done the same, looking upon newly inaugurated American president Joe Biden and seeing the potential in him to lead everyone into a brighter sartorial future by using him as a fun mannequin to dress up in various outfits.
In the article, “Joe Biden gets a big ‘fit makeover, GQ style,” the 46th president of the United States is praised for wearing Ralph Lauren at the inauguration (“an expensively stitched demonstration of both his dependability and stability”) and the fact that he owns expensive aviators and watches. He was then, we’re sorry to say, provided with “the all-American makeover of his (but really our) dreams.”
Even before heading to the website to browse the photos, you should have a basic idea of how much this sucks. Aside from one image that Photoshops Biden’s face onto the body of a man wearing a pricey suit—this outfit is described as “Fully sexed” and perfect for “Re-signing the Paris Agreement on climate change (like a boss)”—he’s also presented in a selection of truly stunning casual wear.
As Emily Ratajkowski’s tweet collecting some of these looks illustrates, British GQ has just gone ahead and decided to give us the undying imagery of “True-Blue Biden,” “The Prep Elect,” and, goddamn it all, “Rodeo Joe.” In one image, he wears cuffed jeans and sneakers. In another he enjoys a Starbucks-brand Starbucks iced coffee in a pair of board shorts that help onlookers admire his famously “hairy legs.” Lastly, we’re shown Biden tossing a cowboy hat in the desert air as a hastily Photoshopped eagle swings on by to screech approval of his tassel-sleeved cowboy jacket.
Unsurprisingly, everyone hates this feature. Podcaster Grace Spelman calls it “humiliating,” which it is—for anybody involved in its creation or belonging to the global culture that gave it form. @School_Bird writes, “I’m gonna drink gasoline and eat some matches.” “THIS IS REAL?!” asks @natebobphil.
As for us, looking at the “Big ‘fit makeover” for so long leaves us with nothing else to say but a weary, resigned, “Come on, man.”
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