Everything seems insignificant right now anyway, so here's a story on an ABC sitcom about Justin Bieber's life

Perfectly timed for a moment when all pop culture news can't help but come across as incredibly self-absorbed and insignificant, TV Guide has broken the "exclusive" that ABC is currently developing a sitcom based on the life of Justin Bieber—a life that has gone so regrettably unexamined until this. The series that might have sparked eye-rolling and gentle jibes on a day in which children were not senselessly slaughtered, but now only sparks morbid laughter at how frivolously ephemeral it all feels, will be produced by Bieber and Bieber's most fervent champion, manager Scooter Braun. It is both untitled and unimportant.

Taking its inspiration from Bieber's own life, the show would focus on another aspiring pop star's "awkward teenage years and his unorthodox family," their own trials and travails obviously never approaching the random horror that real life can visit upon even the most innocent (even if it sometimes comes close), but nevertheless telling a story that ABC feels is worth exploring by a couple guys who wrote for Entourage. Should the project pass the development stage, it could debut as early as next season, when the idea of devoting a weekly series to the heavily fictionalized legend of Justin Bieber will be seen as merely another unnecessary vanity project in a long line of them, instead of a glaring reminder of how especially hollow our entertainment can seem sometimes. It might have a scene where fake-Bieber tries to be "swag" but remains hopelessly un-swag, so he finds a swag coach to teach him about swag. That will be a lark.