Evita
Mean singing lady Madonna has found a suitable role as enigmatic Argentine glamour-fascist Eva Peron, both in subject matter and in the fact that she didn't need to emote too heavily—instead singing, dancing, posing and wearing a hefty blonde pompadour. It's a little strange (but not surprising) to see the 1980s pop empress belting out Andrew Lloyd Webber's blowsy, humorless '70s rock arias, and she's not terribly charismatic. To her credit, she does add a nice bimbo effect unimaginable in other Evitas once considered, like Michelle Pfeiffer and Meryl Streep. That aside, it's easy to understand why it took nearly 20 years for Evita to get made: Why should anyone give a fuck about it? What's the point of Evita, really? Its political insights are half-hearted at best, and as entertainment it fails to excite. The songs sound mostly like glam-rock relics. The viewer is bombarded with a lot of teeth-gnashing, booming crescendoes—and blonde ambition—all of which are pretty-looking but far from mesmerizing. Evita will not revive the movie musical, it sure isn't intended as a history lesson, and Madonna didn't suck. But so what?