Exclusive Sneak Peek Of Gwyneth Paltrow's Trainer's Reality Show/Spastic Arm Dance Of Loneliness

Remember Gwyneth Paltrow? Of course you do! You receive her Goop newsletters every week. She's the one who told you about that adorable little boutique-y hotel in Barcelona—-what was it called, again? The Ritz-Carlton? You don't get insider travel tips like that anywhere else—and she also recommended that you "get spiritual" like her good friend, Deepak Chopra—which was just so helpful because you'd been thinking about getting spiritual, but you weren't sure which of Gwyneth Paltrow's friends to consult about that.

Well, this week's sloppy, gloppy, Goopy newsletter features Gwyneth's special workout tips from her not-at-all-insane trainer, Tracy Anderson. Adjust your $400 back pillow stuffed with 100 % llama-wool harvested from the Peruvian Andes, light another bunch of dried sage and place it on your antique country French offering plate, and read all about what Gwyneth says Tracy Anderson does for her:

Many of you may already know of my passion for the Tracy Anderson Method and my investment in it. She has kicked my formerly sagging ass into shape and I will be forever grateful. This week, Tracy shares with us a little arm series that I did everyday preparing for Iron Man and that I take on the road. She just made it home-made style for me, lo fi. But it's good. Especially for the batwing problem. Also, some of her dedicated clients talk about why they love her as much as I do. She has some brand new DVD's that I have been doing in my hotel room on location and which I highly recommend.

You do remember Tracy Anderson, don't you? She's the tiny tanned nugget of sinew that teamed up with Gwyneth Paltrow to charge customers $900/month to play on metal cubes suspended from the ceiling. Well, unfortunately everyone is about to remember Tracy Anderson because she's starring in her very own reality series for the CW—because the only thing more interesting than reading about insane celebrity workouts is watching insane celebrity trainers work out, right?

The CW is developing two reality shows, including one with celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson.

Best known as Madonna's former personal trainer, Anderson has teamed with Ryan Seacrest Prods. to work out a TV show.

The project is a docusoap following the New York-based Anderson as she trains and keeps celebrities in shape. The single mom's client list includes Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Hudson and Shakira.

Lucky for humanity-at-large then that Gwyneth Paltrow sent out a video of Tracy Anderson demonstrating The Tracy Anderson Method today. It's like an exclusive sneak peek at her new reality show!

Obviously, this can't miss. Even when doing that spastic arm dance of loneliness in a mirrored room that ironically just makes her seem all the more alone, Tracy Anderson just radiates star quality.