Family announces existence of unborn child's penis by setting off 80 pounds of explosives

Family announces existence of unborn child's penis by setting off 80 pounds of explosives
Actually a photo of an active Indonesian volcano in 2016; a volcano that’s clearly having a boy. Photo: Goh Chai Hin

It’s April, 2021 and “gender reveal parties” are not only still being held but, as a New Hampshire family has very clearly demonstrated, they’re going to continue being held in increasingly destructive forms until the Earth is left desolate following a final party that leaves us all agape at the pink or blue mushroom cloud blooming above a major city.

Undeterred by gender reveal parties that have created forest fires, exploded cars, and killed several people so far this year alone, proud parents-to-be in Kingston, New Hampshire decided to round up 80 pounds of Tannerite powder, mix it with blue chalk, head to a local quarry last Tuesday night, and let people in a 20-mile radius know their unborn kid has a penis by causing an explosion that led people throughout the southern part of the state and northern Massachusetts to believe they were experiencing an earthquake.

The New Hampshire Union Leader writes that “no injuries were reported in the quarry,” but the vibrations did, as one resident says, “[shake] our house so bad that we thought someone drove into the building.” Pictures fell off the walls of other homes and NBC 10 Boston also reported that Kingston locals living near the quarry—which apparently granted permission for the family to set off the explosion—have experienced property damage as a result of the blast.

One of them, a man named Matt Taglieri, told NBC: “It cracked foundations of our neighbors’ [homes]. I don’t know how that’s right.” When his wife Sara heard that what she described as “this god-awful blast” was the result of a gender reveal party, she responded, “Are you kidding me? I’m all up for silliness and what not, but that was extreme.”

Sara also added, “It was ridiculous… I don’t have any other words for it,” which seems like a good enough summary of the whole thing.

[via Boing Boing]

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