When it comes to fighting rap wars, Eminem is a little like a schoolyard bully who only harasses wheezing, asthmatic Poindexters half his size. Prominent Eminem foes Insane Clown Posse, Benzino, Vanilla Ice, and Ja Rule aren't likely to win a war of words with MC Skat Kat, let alone one of rap's most legendary battlers. On "Piggy Bank," however, Eminem associate 50 Cent launched an unexpected, controversial sneak attack on two of rap's best liked and most respected figures, Jadakiss and Fat Joe (a.k.a. Joey Crack, Cook Coke Crack, Don Cartagena, or Fat Joe Da Gangsta) for the crime of recording a single with G-Unit enemy Ja Rule. Just how popular are Joe and Jadakiss within the hip-hop community? Jadakiss has worked with just about everyone in rap's top ranks, including Eminem and Dr. Dre, while Marshall Mathers somewhat inconveniently pops up on Fat Joe's new album alongside Ma$e and Lil Jon for a loopy "Lean Back" remix.
Surely 50 Cent must have realized that both rappers would come back fast and hard, and sure enough, on his new album All Or Nothing, Fat Joe retaliates with all manner of lyrical ammunition on "My Fo Fo," a dis track that's as gangsta and ferocious as any track with a Flintstones-derived chorus can possibly be. "My Fo Fo" presents a vivid, convincing portrait of 50 Cent as a paranoid, reclusive, out-of-touch mega-star running his mouth in the studio while protected by a small army of bodyguards, feds, and rent-a-cops. Needless to say, that doesn't fit Joe's perception of "gangsta." Of course, the irony is that All Or Nothing shares many of the strengths and weaknesses (not to mention producers) of 50 Cent's The Massacre, another solid major-label gangsta-rap album similarly hindered by too many commercial concessions. Like 50, Fat Joe boasts a dark charisma, malevolent wit, and infectious street swagger that make it easy to root for the bad guy on standout tracks like the NY street anthem "Rock Ya Body," a sequel to "New York, New York" that shares that single's dirty, chilly electro atmosphere. On early songs like "Safe 2 Say (The Incredible)" and "Does Anybody Know," Fat Joe spits over the ultra-trendy hyper-soul sped-up production style, with impressive results. Hardcore tracks like "Temptation Pt. 1" and "Temptation Pt. 2" maintain the street vibe, but the album stumbles on blatant bids for radio play like the inane Nelly/ Scott Storch collaboration "Get It Poppin'" and the saccharine J. Lo duet "Hold U Down."
"Who the fuck you know like Cook / Kill a nigga on the verse, make him dance on the hook?", asks "Rock Ya Body," succinctly mapping out Joe's formula for balancing street credibility with platinum ambition. Interestingly enough, the only thing keeping the otherwise fierce All Or Nothing from being a killer album is a few watered-down dance tracks and anemic pop songs.