With its recent purchase by Facebook for $1 billion, Instagram officially became a luxury good, worthy of the endorsement of discerning hip-hop stars. And now the popular app that allows you take photos and make them look older, so your friends think you live in the '70s and are possibly Andy Warhol, has its very first anthem from Fat Joe, who no doubt appreciates the way Instagram's high contrast settings and artsy filters can often be very slimming. In fact, Fat Joe likes to Instagram just about everything, according to his new single "Instagram That Hoe (feat. Rick Ross and Juicy J)," some of which may not have even occurred to you. What are the things we should be Instagramming, Fat Joe?
Instagram that jet, Instagram these kicks
Bouvé on my wrist, Instagram that bitch
Instagram that track, Instagram these racks
Fell up off that balcony ass, so fetch your bounce right back
I got hoes off of my water, bracelet all on my ankle
Fuck parole, that stripper pole, I love them hoes to their ankle
Instagram that ho, Instagram her mama
Instagram that bitch on the top of the whip while she giving me knowledge
To summarize: ho's, jets, shoes, watches (?), bitches, tracks, racks, "balcony asses," Fat Joe's ankle bracelets, ankles, things that rhyme with "ankle" (like "ankle"), definitely not parole officers, stripper poles, ho's, mamas of ho's, bitches, bitches on top of cars where they're performing blowjobs, more ho's, bids for cultural relevance—Instagram it all. "What about the delicious meal I'm about to consume?" you ask. Put that shit on Pinterest, then maybe you can get, I dunno, Freeway to rap about it. This is Instagram. [Rap Genius via The Daily Dot]