The Clown Murders (1975)
Director: Martyn Burke
Tagline: "It started as a joke…"
Plot: Four snobby
college chums—including a constantly snacking John Candy—conspire
to screw with their annoying fatcat boss by putting on clown costumes and
kidnapping his wife, in order to prevent him from closing on a land deal that
will turn a family farm into an apartment complex. But after they do the deed,
they can't stop bickering with each other over whether this is all a big joke
or an actual crime. And then, out of nowhere, a mysterious maniac in a clown
mask shows up. Who could it be? The perpetually picked-on Candy?
The sexually aggressive asshole who always picks on Candy?
Or maybe the caretaker's creepy son, who looks like Gary
Oldman and gets an ominous snap-zoom every time he appears?
Whoever it is, one thing's clear: An angry clown is a
dangerous clown.
Key scenes: When they first discuss the plan, the most persuasive
argument they can come up with is, "Come on, we haven't had a good caper
together since we put the fox and the hounds in the clubhouse." Well, that, and
a spontaneous chorus of their old school song:
Later, when everything starts
to go awry, a tussle between two of the clown-suited kidnappers is broken up by
snot-nosed trick-or-treaters, who mock them mercilessly:
And when all hell starts
breaking loose, the kidnap victim decides the best course of action is to
seduce Candy, which leads to some never-to-be-forgotten shots of John Candy in
the throes of ecstasy:
But when you're dealing with
a movie called The Clown Murders,
there can be no scene more key than the one where the clown starts a-murderin':
Can easily be
distinguished by: A cast that's about
ten years older and three times richer than the usual slasher fodder, and a
score that sounds like a cross between a broken hurdy-gurdy and the soundtrack
to an Italian melodrama.
Sign that it was made in
1975: Toronto-based venture
capitalists are still dreaming of the day when they'll have their very own
major league baseball team.
Timeless message: Soap opera dialogue sounds better when delivered by
men in clown suits:
Also, clown kidnappings are
zany:
Memorable quotes: When Candy tries to correct his asshole friend's
anecdote about an ex-girlfriend, the asshole snaps, "How would you recognize
one woman from another, huh? I mean they all look like one big cheeseburger to you."