Fox not-at-all-desperately creates Bones episode around Jersey Shore's The Situation

Because we’ve run out of actors, Fox and Bones creator Hart Hanson are currently negotiating with MTV to bring in Jersey Shore’s Mike “The Situation” NameIrefusetolearno for a dramatic role—even going so far as to craft an entire episode around him as a potential lure, because The Situation obviously has standards. Hanson says that his finest cross-promotional hour would feature a plot where “a guido is killed and Booth and Brennan enter that world to find out what happens.”

Then someone poked David Boreanaz and reminded him that we could be talking about his sexual harassment suit right now, so he put on a big smile and gladly chimed in with, “[Brennan] will understand them because she considers [guidos] a tribe,” to which Emily Deschanel—sweet, heretofore-unsullied Emily Deschanel—added, “Brennan anthropologically studies them and knows the lingo and the behavior. [She's] down with the whole guido stuff.” Deschanel also predicted that the episode would be “full of Jersey Shore references,” saying, “I guarantee that there will be a fist pump.” Somewhere in the distance, a dog howled—cold, lonely, and innately sensing that someday this episode would overtake The Beach Boys' Full House appearance on the list of most gimmicky celebrity cameos of all time.

If he accepts, The Situation would be playing “fitness guru Richie ‘The V’ Genero.” It may bring you some comfort to know that his character will be murdered. Also, there’s currently a casting call out for an actress to play “Ritchie’s Victoria Gotti-esque mom.” Keep your phone on, Susan Lucci. By which we mean keep your phone off, Susan Lucci.