Furious 7’s James Wan in talks to direct Aquaman

Proving that he lives his life one quarter-nautical-mile at a time, Furious 7 director James Wan is apparently in talks to make Warner Bros.’ Aquaman movie, which was previously in the hands of Man Of Steel director Zack Snyder. If Wan takes the job, it’ll give Snyder time to focus on his other important duties, like directing the upcoming crossover film Justice League and carefully removing every trace of humor and comedy from any DC Comics movies.

Wan, who broke into the film industry with 2004’s highly influential horror film Saw, will still be working with the previously cast Jason Momoa as the titular King Of The Seven Seas. Two different scripts are currently in development for the film, with Wan presumably picking whichever one features more creative uses of bear traps, haunted dolls, and wicked-sick automotive stunts, because those are things from movies that he’s made in the past. (Whichever script uses the phrase “the fast and the fishiest” will be immediately thrown in a fire.)

Meanwhile, somewhere in Hollywood, Vin Diesel calls a meeting with his social media and Photoshop guys. “Me, Black Manta. Get it done,” Diesel purrs, and the great work begins, in a flurry of drop shadows and calmly administered fist bumps.

 
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