Further Adventures In Press Releases

From my inbox:

Can you be cooked to death in a malfunctioning jacuzzi?  Can you actually rip out an eye with your bare hands?

Hmm. I'm gonna go with "Who cares?" And "Probably, though a spoon would be a better tool for the job." What do I win, Press Release?

Spike TV will satisfy the unconventional curiosity of men with the return of the hit series MANswers, following the live “The Ultimate Fighter 10” finale.

Oh, so those were MANstions? Clever. Although I wouldn't really consider "Can you actually rip out an eye with your bare hands?" to be a common topic of curiosity amongst men. Amongst 10-year-old kids who have just seen the Alcatraz scene in So I Married An Axe Murderer, yes. But that doesn't really make for a tidy portMANteau I guess.

MANswers is trivia for men, delivering real answers that guys need to know.

So answers like  "Field Of Dreams," "Shawshank Redemption," and "vas deferens"? But that's only three "Manswers." What other real answers to exclusively male-oriented trivia could there be? "Pain radiating up the left arm," maybe?

Each episode features a barrage of guy-oriented trivia presented in a fast-paced, irreverent manner that is fodder for settling barroom bets and water-cooler arguments. Coming up this season: the number of non alcoholic beers needed to get drunk, can drug sniffing dogs get high, and the record number for having sex in one day.

Again, none of those questions really fit the "trivia for men" criteria. Only people way under the drinking age (and way in need of a fake ID) bother to wonder about the number of non-alcoholic beers they'd need to get drunk—and that's only out of necessity. "Can drug sniffing dogs get high?" is more of a STONERstion than a MANstion. And the only things wondering about "the record number for having sex in one day" are the computer programs that generate penile enhancement spam emails.

Still, it seems like a more accurate title for this show would be DUDEswers. It's dudes, not men, who are having arguments by the water cooler and betting in the Hooters bar over "guy-oriented" things like "Dude, you can totally survive an elephant attack by grabbing the tusks!!"

And only dudes would hear something like "MANswers" and think "I'm gonna watch that!" instead of "Suddenly I want to stab my television repeatedly."

 
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