FX automatically gives Charlie Sheen's Anger Management 90 more episodes

With the sound of klaxons blaring and meme airlocks being sealed, Charlie Sheen's Anger Management has triggered its automatic 90-episode pickup, FX relayed in a statement filled with similarly automatically generated platitudes. According to the network, the show has met both its "designated average ratings threshold" and acceptable minimum definition of "comedy," becoming the highest-rated new sitcom on cable in 2012 (to the coincidental chagrin of Men At Work, we guess). The network expressed dutiful excitement about maintaining that plateau and extending its bargain with the self-aware devil for at least the next two years it will take to pull off what it calls "the Herculean task" of producing 90 more episodes, in that it is a labor on par with slaying the Hydra for Sheen to make a few winking references to his personal life while dealing with a procession of kerrazy broads, apparently. The deal also means that Anger Management will meet the number of episodes required to join Two And A Half Men in syndication, ensuring future generations will get to witness the antics of Charlie Sheen and come to believe their parents are idiots.