Dancing With The Stars returns March 21 for another season of foxtrotting, twirling, and stretching the definition of the term “star.” The latest lineup of Hollywood hoofers was unveiled on Good Morning America Tuesday morning to much pomp and circumstance, despite the dubious luminosity of said performers. And the good news is that we’ll finally learn if Geraldo Rivera can do the Lindy Hop; the bad news is that we probably won’t, because Monday nights are for Kryptonian transplants.
In case you are interested in watching celebrities perfect the rumba, though, we do have the list of contestants. Season 22 will pit the aforementioned Rivera against Jodie Sweetin, whose extended TV family will presumably be cheering her on; former NFL quarterback Doug Flutie, who missed out on learning the Super Bowl Shuffle by a year; The O.C.’s Mischa Barton; and Boyz II Men’s Wanya Morris. Marla Maples, who’s probably desperate to rid herself of her Trump association, GMA meteorologist Ginger Zee, and Kim “Tootie” Fields will also vie for the bragging rights and glitter-ball trophies, though they’ll face stiff competition (which is presumably a bad thing in this situation) from Pittsburgh Steeler Antonio Brown, UFC fighter Paige VanZant, America’s Next Top Model winner Nyle DiMarco, and Von Miller of the Denver Broncos.