Earlier this week, the world of fake news got real scary, when a man carrying a gun, and spurred on by a collective internet delusion that some of Washington’s most powerful people are coordinating a secret child sex-trafficking ring through coded Instagram messages and web site logos, entered Washington D.C.’s Comet Ping Pong pizza place to ”investigate” the allegations, eventually firing his rifle into the air. (Said gunman, Edgar Maddison Welch, has, of course, since been denounced as a “false flag” or government plant by people in the #pizzagate community, because conspiracy theories are bulletproof even if people, depressingly, are not.)
In order to respond to its new status as a nexus of Reddit-style hate, the pizzeria and music venue recently hired a security team to keep employees and customers safe. But security isn’t cheap, which is presumably why the restaurant has launched its own GoFundMe account to help cover its new slate of costs, including “lost wage compensation for our amazing cooks and FOH staff, paid security to ensure the safety of our patrons and staff, legal expenses, security upgrades, and physical damage.” Comet is asking for $28,000—a number we’re sure the internet is racing at this very moment to attach some kind of sinister, Satanic significance to—to help cover the costs, and is already about a third of the way to its goal.