Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past Is Clearly A Horror Film

As we learned from Martin Lawrence, there's a thin line between love and hate, and by extension there's only the slimmest of plot points between romantic comedy and horror film. Take, for example, the screenplay that the monkeys in the infinite monkey theory would have flung around the typewriter room instead of their feces, The Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past.  Judging by the trailer, this movie is a romantic comedy version of A Christmas Carol built around the meager remaining crumbs of Matthew McConaughey's overtanned go-to rom-com hunkdom. The movie's poster, however, reveals a much darker story:

Why so scarf-smug, McConaughey?

Clearly, this movie isn't the charmless, unfunny rom-com retelling of A Christmas Carol that it appears to be. No, Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past is apparently a retelling of Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark, more specifically, "The Green Ribbon." Jennifer Garner will spend the entire movie wondering why McConaughey refuses to take off that red scarf, why he insists on wearing it everywhere—to the beach, to bed, to their wedding. Years will pass, until one night curiosity will get the better of her. While he's sound asleep, Garner will slowly untie the scarf from around McConaughey's neck, and his head will fall to the floor with a resounding thud before rolling across the room saying, "Alright alright alright."

In short, it'll be the best Matthew McConaughey movie ever.

 
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