New American Revolution begins as Golden Corral buffet patrons beat each other with chairs over steak

A great uprising erupted in America last Friday. Reporters bore witness to a massive, seemingly spontaneous brawl; an orgy of violence that many are already dubbing “The Second American Revolution.” The scene: A Golden Corral buffet in Bensalem, Pennsylvania. The inciting incident: Something to do with steaks being served to customers in the wrong order.

Footage of the brawl was taken by patrons who happened to be on hand when restaurantgoers (presumably named the “Freshly Buttered Buns Of Liberty”) decided to vent their anger over the way that their steaks were going out by just beating the snot out of each other with chairs.

Over the course of four minutes, we see the situation escalate until a chair is raised above a crowd of people shouting at each other. Suddenly, everyone’s running around, yelling, or walking away with their drinks in hand to avoid getting caught up in the melee. Chairs are thrown back and forth, a server tries to calm things down, and everything ends in a dining room—one wall emblazoned with the cheery logo “Gather round”—covered in wreckage.

Toward the end, the patriot filming everything sums up the entire event, muttering to himself the “no taxation without representation” of our times: “All I wanted was some steak!”

6ABC Philadelphia, in a video titled “Golden Corral brawl reportedly sparked by misunderstanding over steak,” tried to reckon with this momentous historical occasion last night.

The anchor explains that authorities are still looking into the situation that led the “more than three dozen people” to begin “throwing fists and even throwing some chairs” at the Golden Corral. A man named Alexis Rios, present at the Battle Of The Buffet, says that everything began because of “a misunderstanding regarding a piece of steak.”

According to him, someone got mad because he was given his steak sooner than another person ahead of him in line simply because his was cooked rare and was ready to serve sooner than another person’s well done meat.

“I grabbed a chair to defend myself and then sooner or later … that was it,” Rios says. “Punches were getting thrown, chairs were getting thrown … you name it … cups, glasses, everything … you name it.”

Rios also posits that people wearing masks and not being able to understand each other caused the fight, though obviously greater tensions regarding the proper distribution of steaks were responsible for this. Fortunately, this time at least, nobody was seriously injured.

It’s up to the president to see the Bensalem Buffet Brawl for what it was and address the nation immediately. Now is the time for strong leadership and immediate policy to ensure that the country’s steak supply is properly addressed. If not, we fear that this will not be the first Golden Corral Uprising we see this year.

[via Boing Boing]

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