Good news, creeps: Tony Hawk is now selling skateboards covered with his blood

Tony Hawk has embarked on a partnership with Liquid Death, a water company that gets celebrities to “sell their souls” through blood pacts in order to help sell its line of water in tallboy beer cans. Because this premise is not absurd enough on its own, Hawk and the water-mongers have continued their alliance by selling a limited edition skateboard series painted with the famous skateboarder’s blood.

The run of 100 bloodboards is painted red and, according to the website’s copy, “infused with 100% real Tony Hawk.” Blood taken from Hawk has been mixed into the paint used on the board, which is very cool in theory but far less in practice when you see that the design itself prominently features corporate branding and lines of text reading: “Murder Your Thirst Just Like Tony Hawk!”

They’ve sold out already regardless, snatched up by buyers eager to own an item that’s sure to be worth a lot more than its list price down the line (both because of the product’s scarcity and since scraping the board’s paint off may one day allow owners to clone their very own skateboarding teacher). Each one went for $500, with some of the profits from their sale going toward charities aimed at reducing plastic pollution and the creation of public skateparks.

Given how quickly they sold, we urge Hawk to open up his veins a little longer and help create a few hundred more of these suckers for people to buy up and stare at with vampiric lust. And if he’d rather avoid having his blood donated through a needle again, we imagine a few days of practice should yield enough raw material to keep the factory going.

[via Input]

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