Google pledges to fix its garbage cheeseburger emoji
Google has identified the most pressing issue facing its company and, to its credit, is moving quickly to address a concern affecting millions of employees and service users alike. That’s right, we’re talking about its shitty hamburger emoji.
As Thomas Baekdal points out, there’s something very wrong with Google’s perceived burger construction, which somehow considers it appropriate to perpetuate the harmful myth that placing a waxy square of cheese below the patty itself is neither gross or wrong.
Looking closer at Google’s monstrosity via Emojipedia, the Rosetta Stone of our time, shows that other companies don’t share the same wrong-headed approach to burgers. Aside from LG, which does away with the pleasing red of a tomato slice, every other version of the burgmoji resembles the Platonic ideal of the beloved food. Apple may be sending that scrap of lettuce off to a premature wilted death by suggesting it goes on the bottom of the heap, but none are so callous as to repeat Google’s cheese mistake.
Fortunately, as mentioned above, Google is taking this very important issue very seriously. Responding to Baekdal’s tweet, company CEO Sundar Pichai says that his incredibly wealthy and socially influential company is willing to “drop everything” to fix such the problem.
Thank god the benevolent tech giant understands our concerns. See that non-illustrative smiley emoji? We’re in safe hands. The cheese will be moved and we can put all of this behind us. Google is your friend and, like all healthy friendships, we have to forgive it for its mistakes.