California meets its new overlord, a 500-pound bear called Hank The Tank
Hank The Tank has been breaking into homes, stealing food, and resisting all arrest attempts
California has long anticipated the coming of Hank The Tank, a 500-pound black bear that’s begun making itself known as the true governor of the state by roaming around South Lake Tahoe and breaking into residents’ homes. For more than a century, the state’s flag has depicted a bear striding across a grassy landscape in a clear indication that an ursine ruler would one day come to claim its rightful titles and lands.
And now, with the arrival of Hank The Tank, that day is here.
The New York Times writes that King Henry Of California has been asserting his claim to the state since last summer. He’s broken into “more than two dozen homes to rummage for food” since July and was given his “Tank” title by locals for using “his size and strength to barge through garages, windows, and doors.” Hank, magnificent enough in stature to be the easy winner of an off-shoot Fat Bear Week 2022, has grown so big and mighty off the spoils of his campaign—eating so much delicious human-created trash and refusing to stop for winter hibernation—that he now easily outweighs other black bears from the region by hundreds of pounds. (The average weight of fellow bears in the region is about 100 to 300 pounds.)