In these tough times fraught with toilet paper shortages and democratic primaries and the corporate monetization and neutering of furry culture for entertainment, sometimes having a good laugh can feel like a luxury. Today’s generous allotment of humor comes to us from HBO Max, which has given the green light to an eight-episode docuseries about Mark Wahlberg, produced by and starring Mark Wahlberg. Oh, yes, the punchline: It’s called Wahl Street. In a synopsis that veers right over the uncanny precipice and straight into the canyons of self-parody, Wahl Street (like… wow) is described by the official press release as follows:
HBO Max announced today an 8-episode series order for WAHL STREET, a new premium documentary series that offers fans a glimpse into global star Mark Wahlberg’s life as he juggles the demands of a rigorous film schedule coupled with an ever-growing network of diverse businesses. Along the way, viewers will learn about his successes and failures and glean powerful business and life lessons while also getting to know the cast of colorful characters that make up Wahlberg’s real-life entourage.
But wait, there’s more—this isn’t just a docuseries about Mark Wahlberg’s life and how he artfully juggles being Mark Wahlberg while also being a Mark Wahlberg. It’s also a Shark Tank-style series in which aspiring Mark Wahlbergs can pitch their ideas to Mark Wahlberg. We feel it’s only right to respond to this news in a language it might understand, so: Talk about a multi-level marketing scam, RIGHT?
Each episode of WAHL STREET will follow Wahlberg as he navigates his expansive business portfolio, spanning all sectors of commerce ranging from a line of activewear, all-natural, high-performance sports nutrition supplements, television and film production companies, and even a Chevrolet dealership. Each episode will include a diverse group of entrepreneurs and inventors pitching Wahlberg a litany of new opportunities, eager to have Wahlberg endorse or invest in their ideas.
Coming soon to a once-vibrant and now heavily-gentrified area of town near you: Wahlmart. Okay, we’re done.