An uninspired blend of weak black comedy, bland thriller and Weekend At Bernie's homage, Head Above Water stars Harvey Keitel as a cranky judge who marries flavor-of-the-month Cameron Diaz, a perky recovering junkie with macho, charismatic ex-con Billy Zane for an ex-boyfriend and laconic Craig Sheffer for a best friend. Over the course of one weekend, Zane returns to Keitel and Diaz's beach house while Keitel and Sheffer are away fishing, and after a night of drunken revelry with Diaz, proceeds to die of mysterious causes, only to have his body toted around in a comical fashion by the rest of the cast. Many, many double-crosses and plot twists ensue, but it's difficult to care about any of it, because none of the characters are especially likable or three-dimensional, and all the plot twists seem arbitrary and uninspired. Keitel gives a rare bad performance as the judge who is not what he seems, while Diaz is adequate in an underwritten role: All she really gets to do is run around and look frightened while the other three characters take turns chasing her. The only performer to make a decent impression is Zane as a variation on the charismatic slimeball he played in Dead Calm, but his character only lasts about 20 minutes before he's bumped off, draining the film of what little energy it possesses. Bland, predictable and oddly theatrical, Head Above Water is little more than a waste of a good cast and some pleasant ocean-front scenery. Cameron Diaz has presence and could still become a major star, but not if she continues to appear in this kind of run-of-the-mill cable fodder.