As the eternal garbage fire of 2016 sails, Viking-like, away from us once and for all, the need for constant distraction from the world’s condition remains as pressing as ever. Luckily, Hulu has released its schedule of January releases, the better to keep our latest New Year’s resolution (“Spend a couple minutes a day not screaming about everything that’s going wrong”) intact.
The service is offering up the usual mix of pleasantly distracting season and series premieres, including The Bachelor, Scandal, and newcomers like Fox’s The Mick and NBC’s bizarre-looking Wizard Of Oz project, Emerald City. January also marks the return of Hulu Original The Path, featuring more cultish soul-searching from Aaron Paul, Hugh Dancy, and Michelle Monaghan.
Over on the movie front, the pickings are a little more slim, although all four Lethal Weapons, and the latter two Beverly Hills Cop movies, are on hand to sate your cravings for smart-mouthed cops, while both Hostel films are there for those who want to revel in fictional depravity for a change. If you’re looking for some real torture, though, the service is also offering up Norm Of The North, number 2 on our list of the year’s worst films. Is it as “tedious, witless, and pointless” as we claimed? There’s only one, presumably unpleasant, way to find out!
You can see the full list of titles coming to and departing from Hulu next month below. Entries with (*Showtime) next to them require a Showtime package.
Available January 1:
Chowder: Complete Seasons 1-3
The Powerpuff Girls (Classic): Complete Seasons 1-6
Wasted: Complete Season One
Across the Universe
Amelie
The Amityville Horror (2005)
Annie Hall
Baby Boom
Bad Girls From Mars
Beverly Hills Cop 2
Beverly Hills Cop 3
Beverly Hills Vamp
Black Sheep
Blaze You Out
Blow Away
Blue Hill Avenue
Boxcar Bertha
The Brady Bunch Movie
The Burbs
Bug
Cold War
Craig Ferguson: Does This Need To Be Said?
Cruel Intentions
Curse Of The Starving Class
Deadly Blessing
Dracula 3000
Duma
The Eternal
Explorers
Extreme Justice
Eyes Of An Angel
Footloose
Gargoyles: Wings of Darkness
Happily N’Ever After
Happily N’Ever After 2
Jackass Number Two
Jackass: The Movie
Jeepers Creepers 2
Jesus’ Son
King Kong
Leaving Las Vegas
Lethal Weapon
Lethal Weapon 2
Lethal Weapon 3
Lethal Weapon 4
The Long Riders
Man In The Moon
Mission Impossible
Mutant Species
Norm Of The North
Open Season
The Piano
Primal Fear
Promised Land
The Relic
Runaway Bride
Senorita Justice
Shooters
Silent Tongue
Six Weeks
Sleepy Hollow
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
Split Image
The Spy Next Door
Stephen King’s Graveyard Shift
Stephen King’s Silver Bullet
Teresa’s Tattoo
Trading Places
Transporter 3
Trekkies
Trekkies 2
Trucks
The Untouchables
Vanilla Sky
A Very Brady Sequel
War Games
What’s Cooking?
Witness
Available January 2:
Beyond: Complete Season One
The Mick: Series Premiere
To Tell The Truth: Season Two Premiere
Available January 3:
The Bachelor: Season Twenty-One Premiere
The Celebrity Apprentice: Season Eight Premiere
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: Complete Season Eleven
Love The Coopers (2015) (*Showtime)
Available January 4:
Bones: Season Twelve Premiere
Available January 6:
Nashville: Season Five Premiere
Available January 7:
Emerald City: Series Premiere
Grimm: Season 6 Premiere
Sleepy Hollow: Season Four Premiere
Available January 8:
Burnt (*Showtime)
Available January 9:
Match Game: Season Two Premiere
Secret in their Eyes (*Showtime)
Available January 10:
Amazing World Of Gumball: Complete Season Four
Available January 13:
My Kitchen Rules: Series Premiere
Bird People (2014)
Available January 15:
Bridge of Spies (*Showtime)
Available January 16:
Clarence: Complete Season Two
Homeland: Season 6 Premiere (*Showtime)
Available January 17:
Real Housewives Of Potomac: Complete Season One
Available January 19:
What Happened…Ms. Sykes
Available January 20:
Scandal: Season 6 Premiere
Available January 22:
Where to Invade Next
Available January 23:
The Choice
Available January 25:
The Path: Season Two Premiere
Available January 27:
Days and Nights
Dirty Grandpa
Roseanne for President
Available January 28:
Hostel
Hostel: Part 2
Available January 30:
The Affair: Season Three Finale (*Showtime)
Regular Show: Complete Season 7B
Leaving January 31:
Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now Redux
Bolero
Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle
The Cutting Edge
Enter the Ninja
Good Will Hunting
Hammett
Hoosiers
One from the Heart
Punch Drunk Love
Quigley down Under
Rounders
Sling Blade
Top Secret!