The vagina, for far too long turned shyly inward, is finally coming out, according to this New York Times profile, which assesses the autumn harvest of television shows and declares this “the season of the vagina.” Indeed, healthy, bountiful vaginas have been cropping up everywhere, not only sported by increasing numbers of actresses, but also in the various jokes they say. Of course, most of these vaginas are attached to Whitney Cummings, who’s responsible for both CBS’ Two Broke Girls, in which Kat Dennings recently reprimanded a pair of demanding customers over “the deleterious effect their behavior had on her vagina,” and NBC’s Whitney, a future episode of which will reportedly feature an extended riff on “vajazzling” for those nostalgic for 2010. “If one day passes without me writing any more vagina jokes, my career is blown,” Cummings mused out of her vagina, vaginally vagina-ing, “Vagina jokes paid for my house.”
So what’s with all these vaginas, besides helping Whitney Cummings build her house of vaginas, which we can only assume is vagina-shaped and insulated with vaginas? The Times spoke with psychology professor Timothy Jay (a specialist in cursing, which is a career we sadly never thought to pursue), and he believes that it’s just an inevitable progression of television’s need to get more explicit to attract viewers, saying that all of this sudden vagina talk is because “each season the competition is so stiff.” Then the New York Times giggled like a 13-year-old boy for half an hour, or at least we did. Interestingly, while the vagina is currently roaming free across the television landscape, all those "vaginas" skating by because they are purely “clinical terms,” the networks apparently still can’t handle a “penis,” with Fox looking at an episode of New Girl and declaring a limit on how many times a “penis” can come out of Zooey Deschanel’s mouth. And strangely, they also reportedly had a problem with the same show’s “nipples,” asking them to tweak it until something else came out. Which, given that they're both similarly "clinical" terms, definitely seems like a double standard that the networks aren't also looking to stick it to vaginas. (Thus ends the most immature Newswire I’ve written in this, our age of the vagina.)