Hollywood Wonders, "What Are These 'Women' And How Many Sex & The City Tickets Will They Buy In Advance?"
Ladies! Have you bought your tickets for Sex & The City 2: The Re-Sexening yet? Silly question: Of course you have. The second you heard Kim Cattrall say, in her best drag queen voice, "I can hear the decadence calling!" your ovaries secreted a rush of progesterone that caused your Girls Night Out to sync up with the Girls Night Out of every single woman on Earth. On May 27th, all us gals are going to ovulate glitter and go see Sex & The City 2: The Re-Sexening! It's our biological imperative! Or something.
From The Hollywood Reporter:
Indeed, Regal is offering early ticketing on "SATC2" so patrons can plan gals'-nights-out of the sort that marked the theatrical release of the franchise original, Regal marketing boss Dick Westerling said.
"Women across the country are anxious to plan events and activities related to their evening out to see the film, and they want confirmation that they have tickets," Westerling said. "Based on our experience with the first film, this can become quite an elaborate and fun-filled evening. Aside from purchasing tickets to see the movie, they are already reserving limousines and making restaurant reservations.
"The 'Sex and the City 2' film and cast have an extremely large and loyal fan base," he added. "We wanted to offer advance tickets as early as possible to help our patrons coordinate their activities and see the movie."
Women be coordinatin' their activities around Sex & The City 2, right, Dick Westerling?
Doesn't it sound like he's narrating a nature documentary? "The women groom themselves and reserve limousines in preparation for the Sex & The City 2. For hours they stare at projections of these four alpha women on a screen. Some of the women even groom themselves in the manner of the alphas, and imitate their mannerisms. After watching these projections, the women move en masse to a nearby watering hole where they submerge themselves in the murky depths up to their artfully smokey eyes, perfectly camouflaged from both predators and prey. A baby antelope approaches the water's edge for a drink. The leader of the women raises an expertly threaded eyebrow—a signal to the other women that dinner has arrived. That drink will be the baby antelope's last."
Granted, people who buy tickets far in advance of a movie's opening are another species. But the particular species here isn't "women" it's "crazed SATC fans."