Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel take turns pummeling a giant, pink, heart-shaped pinata with a small baseball bat.
"I hate Valentine's Day!" Jessica shouts, giving the pinata a determined thwack.
"I know! It's so stupid!" Jennifer replies as she begins to punch the side of the pink heart with her bare hands. "Agghhh!"
"Cut!" Garry Marshall yells. The two actresses immediately collapse into giggles. "Good work, girls. Funny. This reminds me of Laverne & Shirley."
"Oh?" Jennifer says. "In what way, Mr. Marshall?"
"In the way that I'm Garry Marshall, creator of Laverne & Shirley directing a blonde and a brunette in a comedy. Also, pinatas always remind me of Penny for some reason."
Jennifer and Jessica exchange confused looks. "Uh, but we're both brunettes," Jessica says.
"Brunette, blonde, who cares? I'm Garry Marshall and I know Laverne & Shirley when I see it. How would you two like to make a Laverne & Shirley movie?"
"Um, okay," Jessica says.
"Well…sure," Jennifer replies. "But who would be Laverne and who would be Shirley?"
"What's the difference? Work it out between the two of you. Now I've just gotta get someone to write the stupid thing. Hmmm. How about: the next person who comes around that corner is going to write the Laverne & Shirley movie!"
Jessica laughs nervously, "I'm not sure if that's such a good…"
Just then the three hear the tinny, faraway sound of some unidentifiable song. Jamie Foxx rounds the corner, iPhone in hand. "Who wants to watch my Grammy performance again? We killed it! See, first I tricked the audience. There was this serious opera guy who came out singing, like, 'Laaa. Laaa.' So.."
"That's great, Jamie," Garry interrupts. "How would you like to write a Laverne & Shirley movie starring Jennifer and Jessica here?"
"Yeah! Yeah! I like it," Jamie smiles. "Jamie Foxx's Laverne & Shirley. And Laverne would be all street with a tattoo of an L on her back or something. And Shirley would be a hard-ass bitch. And Ray Charles could be the super. 'She gives me moneyyy!'"
As Jamie walks off singing, Garry turns to Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner. "Okay, so we're all set. Practice your schlemiels."
From TV Guide:
Remember all that silly talk during the press junket for the movie Valentine’s Day that Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel would like to play Laverne & Shirley in a big-screen remake? Well, Valentine Day’s and L&S producer Garry Marshall tells me the script is now being written by Valentine’s co-star Jamie Foxx.
“Jamie and I are trying to do it,” Garry confirms. “He’s writing it. It’s a whole different modern day take on how they came up on the streets during difficult times. Laverne would be this very tough girl with a big ‘L’ tattooed on her arm. Jennifer Garner would play Laverne and Jessica Biel would play Shirley.”
Gathering all those actors together in one place to make a horrible ensemble romantic comedy had to have consequences. A Laverne & Shirley movie starring Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel and written by Jamie Foxx is probably only the first wave in the awful ripple effect caused by Valentine's Day.