One of the great recent cinematic pleasures—in the now-storied Before Times—was going to the theater with a group of like-minded (and, to be perfectly honest, incredibly stoned), movie-loving companions to participate in the hilarious communal experience of watching a big silly movie like Venom. And it for this reason and this reason alone that we will not advocate for the COVID-friendly VOD release of Morbius, Sony’s next installment in the universe of Spider-Man spinoffs, which are only really spinoffs in the sense that they employ Spider-Man villains as a capitalistic mechanism to—you know what, it doesn’t matter. The thing is that we deserve to see Morbius, a film in which Jared Leto plays the ghoul of Keith Raniere’s past (or is Raniere the ghost of Leto’s future? It’s hard to say), in an actual movie theater. With friends. Probably most definitely under the influence of illicit and/or legalized substances.
All of which is to say that we are not disappointed or even surprised to learn, via Variety, that Morbius’ theatrical release has been delayed yet again due to the ongoing pandemmy. Previously, Sony delayed the release to this coming March following theater closures and increased safety restrictions that have forced many studios to similarly postpone numerous films, from blockbuster tentpoles like Black Widow to smaller, highly-anticipated titles like Candyman. Sony’s latest rescheduling shifts Morbius to October 8. We will see the silly Jared Leto vampire superhero movie and we will take great pleasure in doing so in an actual gosh-darn movie theater SO HELP US ALL.