The Unicorn Frappuccino invaded Starbucks stores last week, causing unheard-of sugar rushes in those brave enough to partake. Here around the Onion offices, we heard comments like, “It’s very lemony and tastes like five types of candy or a banana Laffy Taffy milkshake,” “It tastes like Superman ice cream,” “If I am forced to finish it, I will get diabetes,” and our personal favorite, “It looks like someone blended Ursula.”
Those complaining about the Unicorn Frappuccino’s uber-sweetness were spot-on: The disgusting concoction contains 76 grams of sugar, the same amount as three Snickers bars. Threadbanger video blogger Corinne has a series called “Corinne Vs. Starbucks,” and for her third installment, she decided to try to make a healthier version of the Unicorn Frappuccino, which she described as a “mango syrup milkshake.”
She made a few different versions: The first steeped tea in yerba mate coconut milk with honey, then added the natural additive spirulina to make the blue layer, just like Starbucks does. The pink layer consisted of oat milk and beet juice supplement, all mixed in a blender with ice. For a caffeine-free version, Corinne swapped out the tea concoction with frozen mango and strawberries, again augmented with the spirulina. It actually turned out more green than the Unicorn Frappuccino’s purple, causing her to dub it the first “mermaid frappuccino.” At any rate, either version is bound to be better for you than the Starbucks one, and seems fairly easy to make at home, as long as you have a blender. Which is fortunate, as the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino run is now sold out.