It is rare that a gossip item can teach us an important life skill via live celebrity example. This item about the romantic pursuits of Zach Braff in today's NY Daily News, however, does just that. How To Pick Up Chicks, The Zach Braff Method (as reported by the NY Daily News)
1. Set your sights low. Or, at least, set them stupid. Like, say, on the blond friend of the guy who keeps scribbling notes about everything in a tiny notebook.
2. Send a friend, or "minion," over to your target with a sweet, but strong message of love, one that demonstrates your obvious ardor for the lady in a manner befitting your decidedly emo reputation:
Friday night at Gallery on the lower East Side, Zach Braff sent a friend over to tell a blond friend of ours that she had a "hot bod."
3. Setting is important. A DVD release party for The Last Kiss is ideal, but if not, then some event for something involving the word "Kiss."
Fittingly enough, it was at the after-party for a film called "In Search of a Midnight Kiss."
4. If your target rejects the advances you relayed to her via surrogate, she probably doesn't like feeling as if she's being courted by two 9th graders at a homecoming dance, and is therefore not for you. Regroup, and choose another, flashier target:
Denied by that lady, he set his sights on another blond, Via Osgood, who appears in the film.
5. Then have your minion tell the friend of your earlier target all about your successful conquest of another woman. That'll show her.
"They were hanging out all night and left together," says a spy.