How To Retain Your Dignity While Being Photographed With Stephen Baldwin (At The Opening Of A Smoothie Place In Penn Station):
(via BWE.tv)
1. Try not to sign anything that would require you, a human being, to be photographed next to Stephen Baldwin, a sentient cardboard being of some kind, at the opening of a smoothie place in Penn Station. This situation is eminently avoidable! If, however, you are roped into a promotional appearance involving Stephen Baldwin, smoothies, and the dingy basement strip mall that is Penn Station, you have a couple of options:
2. Dress up as Elvis. This way, you can always tell yourself it wasn't you standing there next to Stephen Baldwin—it was Elvis. You were playing a character. And a pair of dark aviator glasses and a few well-placed "Ah-Uh-huhs" should mask the frequent crying jags you're sure to experience whenever you catch a glimpse of yourself next to Stephen Baldwin in the reflection on the photographer's lens.
3. Put on a giant smoothie costume. Since your face, your hands, and any identifying marks will be smothered in layers of polyester, no one will even know it was you there standing in the vicinity of Stephen Baldwin.
4. If these two options are taken, however, you could always just buy a smoothie, and hand Stephen Baldwin your credit card.
This way when people ask you later, "Why were you taking pictures with the Bio-Dome guy in Planet Smoothie?" You can just shrug and say, "Who? I was just trying to buy a Berry Universe."