How To Subtly Indicate That Grown-Ups Will Be The Most Fun Movie Ever
How To Subtly Indicate That Grown-Ups Will Be The Most Fun Movie Ever:
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1. Put Kevin James and Adam Sandler front and center. This way people will think, "Whoa. It's Chuck & Larry: Together again!" And everyone has pleasant memories of I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry.
2. List the stars in order from most to least fun. Hint: Rob Schneider is always the least fun.
3. Pick an appropriately fun locale, aka an awesome zone. Options include: Inside a giant pinata; at a kitschy roadside diner with Fred Schneider of the B-52s; snowboarding on a mountain with a bunch of super-cool cartoon cats and dogs in sunglasses; or tubing down a giant, extreme waterslide.
4. Have everyone sit before a green screen one-by-one and scream, "Agggggggghhhhh!!" But, you know, a fun, extreme-waterslide-tubing "Aggggghhhh!" Not an "I-just-realized-I've-become-so-lazy-and-that-nothing-in-my-life-has-meaning-anymore-and-that-frightens-me"Agggghhhhh!"
5. Create a time machine for the sole purpose of going back to late 19th century London and stealing a cockney street urchin. Once you have the lad in your office in 2010, show him the computer and tell him to photoshop a poster together using all these images. He'll look at the mysterious screen before him, scratch underneath his pageboy cap, and say, "Oye, Guvner. Pretty pictures them is but I ain't never worked in no shops." But if you lock him in the office and refuse him food and water, the 19th century London street urchin should be able to cobble together a poster in a few days. Sure, the poster will make it look as if Chris Rock is just standing in the middle of a structurally impossible waterslide, but that's just fun! And fun is what Grown Ups is all about.