The Academy Of Motion Picture Arts, Sciences And Thick Layers Of Pretension announced today that Hugh Jackman will be hosting the Oscars in February, a decision that means two things:
1. Unfortunately no one will get to deliver a Bruce-Villanch-penned joke that correlates the big, wide epic scope of Australia to the big, wide, epic scope of Hugh Jackman's chest.
2. There will be many, many musical numbers.
Apparently, the Academy believes that their choice of Jackman as host, instead of a comedian, means that the show will seem "all-new":
Jackman's selection is a departure from the Academy's standard of big-name comedians…With new producers, a new set director and even a new music director, the Academy has been hinting at an all-new look and feel for this year's Oscars telecast on Feb. 22.
Truly, nothing says "all-new" like a hiring a guy who'll happily sing and dance his way through a bunch of big, flashy, olde-tyme musical numbers. In other words, the 2009 Oscars have a very good chance of repeating the 1989 Oscars–and we all remember how magical those were:
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All Hugh Jackman needs now is a singing Disney character, and no ability to feel crushing humiliation.