I Married Dee Dee Ramone

The essential Ramones documentary End Of The Century makes it clear how much angst, friction and despair went into creating the band’s joyful noise. Imagine Leonard Cohen pushing himself to the brink of madness writing “Walking On Sunshine” and you have a fair approximation of the eviscerating darkness that lurked behind the band’s exuberant oeuvre. Vera Ramone King’s Poisoned Heart: I Married Dee Dee Ramone (The Ramones Years), today’s entry in Silly Show-Biz Book Club, provides a distaff take on the Ramones’ well-worn mythology through the story of her tumultuous relationship with ex-husband Dee Dee Ramone, the troubled genius behind "Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue" and “Go Mental.”
I’ve always thought of the Ramones as asexual. But they inhabited a world of eternal adolescence. Does anyone obsess about sex more than teenagers? Dee Dee emerged as the band’s sex symbol by default: The Ramones all looked like shaggy teenaged cavemen but Dee Dee was arguably the handsomest of the hairy adolescent punk rock Neanderthals. Dating Dee Dee Ramone meant facing fevered competition from groupies, star-fuckers and random hangers-on. In the following passage the author provides a colorful glimpse at the sordid characters that populated early punk rock while disparaging Connie, a rival for Dee Dee’s affections at once threatening and comically unthreatening:
Dee Dee told me about how, one time, [Connie] walked into their apartment and found him in bed with Nancy Spungen. Connie was such a violent person that she physically attacked Dee Dee with a broken beer bottle and jammed it into his buttocks. He had a huge scar on his ass for the rest of his life from that horrific relationship, just because she had caught him cheating on her. Connie was a pathetic person, and a stalker to boot. The only way she could hold on to any man was to supply him with heroin. Another time her former boyfriend, Arthur Kane from the New York Dolls [pre-Dee Dee] went all the way to Florida to try to get away from her. She followed him there, where they got into such a horrible fight that Arthur grabbed her breast and ripped out her breast implant. After that she only had one boob to hustle with and make money.
Thankfully the sordid saga of Connie, one-boobed prostitute/stalker has a happy ending. For Vera and Dee Dee. In the next paragraph Vera relates, “Not long after our encounters with Connie, she was found dead of an overdose in a tenement downtown somewhere in the Bowery.” Ha! Take that, long-dead, heroin-addicted disfigured gutter whore!
Heart covers a lot of ground familiar to Ramones fans: Johnny’s need to control everyone around him, Phil Spector’s bizarre, heavily armed reign of terror as the producer of The Ramones End Of The Century, and Johnny stealing, then marrying Joey’s girlfriend Linda, a formative trauma that may or may not have inspired “The KKK Took My Baby Away.” Can you imagine the torment of having your greatest enemy be your business partner, close collaborator, constant touring companion, and the husband of an ex-girlfriend you loved dearly? Poor Joey.
It’s been said that every junkie is the same. Addiction simplifies life. A non-addict might worry about bills, jobs, politics, the stock market and family but a heroin addict is monomaniacally focused on chasing that next fix. But Dee Dee was anything but a typical junkie. Even his eccentricities had eccentricities. In this passage, Vera describes her soulmate’s unfortunate obsession with Hitler: