“How petty is our news today?” asks Ice-T after word quickly spread that he had been briefly arrested in New York for allegedly driving with a suspended license. On a mid-July afternoon when the Internet is mentally checked out and the best we can come up with is shots of a chameleonic Lindsay Lohan blending in with the orange hues of her prison jumpsuit, it’s pretty damn petty, thanks.
But Ice-T, you can’t blame us for reporting on your minor legal snafu—which transpired after a cop pulled him over for not wearing a seat belt, O.G. style—when you spend the day defending yourself on Twitter with statements like, “Some punk bitch rookie cop named Fisher #10026 Made the arrest of his bullshit career today. Arresting the Notorious Ice T for no seatbelt,” and “He said ‘I know who you are and I don't give a fuck!’ That was right after I called him a punk bitch.” That’s slow news day gold, my man. Here’s hoping he channels this street-level shit into a song on his next album, right next to “Aimee Mann Can Eat A Hot Bowl Of Dicks.”