Over the weekend, while you were barbecuing and drinking on some friend of a friend's old roommate's rooftop, tabloid editors around the globe were hunched in front of their computers trying to come up with the perfect, pun-filled way to encapsulate the celebrity news equivalent of a rapid outbreak of a deadly, fast-moving, airborne disease that also covers the sufferers' bodies with unsightly boils.
That's right, over the weekend, Angelina Jolie gave birth to Brad Pitt's baby.
There are several takes to use when coming up with a headline for this highly-anticipated event. Here's a quick survey of the most popular headline categories: 1. Brangelina-laden (most popular):
An Angel For Brangelina (The Calcutta Telegraph, India)
Enter, Brangelina's Baby (iAfrica.com) 2. Namibia or African-related:
Angelina Jolie's Namibian Baby (Life & Style Extra, UK)
Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Rule Namibia (African News Dimension)
Angelina: The African Queen (New York Post) 3. Shiloh or Messiah related:
Brangelina's New Messiah (Sky News, UK)
Hail The Messiah! Ange Gives Birth To Baby Girl (Irish Independent)
Angelina And Brad Name Baby After Messiah (The Mirror, UK 4. Oddly Questioning, or, Fun With Quotes:
Jolie, Pitt Welcome 'Healthy' Baby Shiloh (Chicago Sun Times)
Jolie And Baby Daughter 'Doing Well' (Ireland Online)
Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt Is 'Beautiful' (Independent Online) 5. But What About Jen?!? and/or Alarmist:
Brangelina's Baby Has Jennifer Aniston In The Doldrums (New Independent Press, India)
Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt Fail To Upstage Jennifer Aniston Film (Post Chronicle)
Brad And Angelina's Baby Lucky To Be Alive (FoxNews.com)
And my favorite category, 6. So Many puns it doesn't even make sense:
Nouvel Brangie Pitt-ure Of Health (Calgary Sun, Canada)