As it is, Kylie Jenner is mostly famous for having lips and being related to other famous people. That’s already more than most people can say, but it’s possible that Jenner has been secretly diversifying her résumé by fronting a mysterious pop outfit called Terror Jr. Apparently, the internet has been abuzz with rumors regarding the youngest Kardashian-Jenner sibling and her clandestine musical adventures. Denials have been issued, naturally:
“I’m not the singer of Terror Jr or whatever,” Jenner proclaimed via Snapchat. “I love their music. But for those wondering, it’s not me, guys.” People were decidedly not convinced, especially once YouTuber Tyler Minear tweeted this smoking-gun screenshot from ASCAP’s website.
The band’s label has delivered denials of its own. Officially, the singer of Terror Jr is a shadowy figure known only as “Lisa Terror.” In pictures of the band, the chanteuse’s face is coquettishly hidden behind a Sia-esque wall of hair.
The conspiracy goes deeper, however. Back in March, Jenner featured the Terror Jr song “3 Strikes” in a promotional video for her lip glosses. And is it a mere coincidence that Terror Jr launched its Soundcloud, Twitter, and Instagram accounts that exact same day?
As Milhouse once deftly put it, “We’re through the looking glass here, people.” The only real mystery is why anyone would bother denying something so mild and inoffensive. The music itself is innocuous, minimalist pop, the vocals heavily pitch-corrected but fine. Any celebrity whose most shameful transgression is being in a pop group is very fortunate indeed.