Lamar Johnson breaks down his tragic arc in The Last Of Us for us

HBO’s The Last Of Us is brimming with tense action and creepy infected creatures. But it’s also fucking heart-wrenching when it wants to be. If the third episode made you sob (thanks, Nick Offerman and Murray Bartlett!), this week’s fifth installment continues the trend. And episode guest star Lamar Johnson knows exactly how stirring “Endure And Survive” is. In an interview with The A.V. Club, Johnson says he was tearing up watching scenes on the monitor with director Jeremy Webb while filming for the show for almost three months. “It was super emotional, but I’m happy with how it turned out.”

Johnson plays Henry Burrell, whose mission is to escape Kansas City with his deaf younger brother, Sam (Keivonn Woodard). They’re on the run from a resistance movement leader, Kathleen (Melanie Lynskey), because Henry betrayed them to FEDRA to save Sam’s life. Just a few brief scenes cement the siblings’ close connection, and Johnson tells The A.V. Club that he formed a bond with Woodard just as fast: “I wanted to be present and react to that, while also honoring what the voice actors brought to [these roles] in the video game. I didn’t want to be a carbon copy and wanted to lend my instincts.”

It’s no wonder Johnson’s toughest scene to film was the tragic conclusion of Henry and Sam’s arc. The duo teams up with Joel (Pedro Pascal) and Ellie (Bella Ramsey) to get out of Kansas City through tunnels. They manage to escape a huge shootout with Kathleen’s crew and a clicker attack, but Sam gets bitten. Henry has no choice but to kill his own brother when he transforms and attacks Ellie the next morning. “It was heartbreaking to see his body flailing and with all that blood because we had such a great bond during the two and a half months of filming,” Johnson says.

The actor also discusses Henry’s vulnerability seconds after he kills Sam, repeatedly asking, “What have I done?” to Joel. “I wanted to portray shock,” he adds, and it seems to have resonated with fans. “That moment after he shoots Sam, people can understand it was a complete shock. There’s a plethora of emotions. It’s not one linear thing, there are so many emotions washing over Henry, he doesn’t even know what he did…because it all happens so fast. I didn’t want to overplay or underplay it.” Unable to cope, Henry pretty quickly turns the gun on himself, despite Joel’s protests.

Is there a world where Henry would’ve joined Joel and Ellie on their trip to Wyoming instead? Johnson doesn’t think so. “I don’t think Henry could live with himself after everything they went through with giving up Kathleen’s brother, Sam getting cancer, and then everyone coming after them. He wouldn’t be able to stomach all of that [alone]. It’s a tough thing. Henry ultimately wants to join his brother and can’t live without him.”

It’s not all doom-and-gloom though, at least not behind the scenes. Johnson says the set felt like an action film during the final sequence before the motel scenes. “The makeup, production design, and special effects are spectacular. Believe it or not, most of it was practical, with the clickers coming out of the ditch, and the car crashing and blowing up. There were wild action sequences with over 100 extras, stunt people, Kathleen’s crew, and the infected. We filmed those three weeks on nights. It was fun.”