With a headline like that, do you even need to know the rest of the story? Ugh, fine: Variety brings us the joyous news of the most blessed of television unions, courtesy of HBO. Laura Dern and Issa Rae will co-star in a new miniseries titled The Dolls, which explores the Christmas Eve riots that took place in a pair of small Arkansas towns in 1983. The kicker? It was all because of Cabbage Patch Dolls.
Some of you weren’t even a twinkle in your momma’s eyeball in 1983, so you won’t know spit about the dreaded Cabbage Patch riots, but folks ’round these parts remember them well. If you thought the great Tickle Me Elmo battle of 1996 was something, then you don’t know the true meaning of terror. Thankfully, HBO will set history straight with a story that “explores class, race, privilege and what it takes to be a ‘good mother.’” So it’s like Big Little Lies, but with Cabbage Patch Dolls.
Rae and Dern (a law firm waiting to happen) will also executive produce The Dolls, which is allegedly a limited series—at least until it proves wildly popular and HBO is forced to develop a follow-up about the seedy Teddy Ruxpin black market that sprung up in 1987. In addition to The Dolls, Rae and Dern are both returning to HBO with new seasons of their respective hit shows: Rae’s Insecure was recently picked up for a fourth season, while Dern (and her fictional mega-daughter, Amabella) can be seen in the upcoming second season of Big Little Lies.