You might still be angry about waiting for that Back To The Future II hoverboard that never arrived, but now you’ve at least got the perfect way to get your aggressions out. A company called Large Manufacturing, producers of “custom accessories for submachine guns” (we assume that means iPod skins, only submachine-gun-shaped) has recreated the pulse rifle from Aliens.
Large has built what it calls the MAX-41A by combining a submachine gun and a short-barreled shotgun, all in the shape of the most iconic sci-fi movie weapon this side of the lightsaber. And now, just like Hudson, Hicks, and Vazquez, you too can fire bursts of ammo at 800 rounds per minute. As Large is quick to point out, it was all assembled legally. How? Because we live in the greatest country in the world, that’s how! Besides, it’s not like this is something dangerous, like unpasteurized milk or loud TV commercials.
Ironically, given the manufacturer, it’s missing the key accessory of a grenade launcher. But it’s safe to say any aspiring space marine can probably live without that, given their most dangerous mission will most likely involve taking down a paper-target queen in the dank bowels of her paper-target nest.
There is one catch, which is that Large isn’t actually selling the rifle, and it definitely won’t put it into production. For the moment, it will have to live in your unfulfilled dreams, next to the hoverboard, and the compelling, well-written Star Wars prequels you spent so many of your childhood years waiting for. But look at it this way: When you’re riding around on your hoverboard, firing your pulse rifle, while quoting all those memorable non-sand-related lines from Episode I: The Balance Of The Force, it’ll all be worth the wait.