It’s UnREAL how much we’ve missed summer TV

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, June 6. All times are Eastern.

Top picks

Devious Maids (Lifetime, 9 p.m.): Look at all of these maids. They’re so devious. Is what we would say, if we weren’t hyped for the fourth-season premiere of Devious Maids (a show where it’s really not the maids who are devious—they’re more inquisitive than anything else). There’s even a catch-up special five minutes before the premiere, though we’re more intrigued that the show thinks it can catch people up in five minutes. It’s kind of a bonkers show. Gwen Ihnat will try to keep up long enough to make sense of the fourth season’s first episode.

Angie Tribeca (TBS, 9/9:30 p.m.): You know what’s better than a farcical TBS cop comedy? LaToya Ferguson being tasked with making sense of a farcical TBS cop comedy on a weekly basis. (She’s honestly lucky this season is more serialized than the first. Well, as serialized as nonsense can be.) Yes, regular TV Club coverage of Angie Tribeca begins with season two and its two-episode premiere. First up, “Fleas Don’t Kill Me”:

A man is found dead in a dog park, but a finally healthy Lieutenant Atkins doesn’t think Tribeca’s ready to take the case. Why? Because Tribeca hates dogs. And also she’s just woken up from a year-long coma.

Then, it’s “Miso Dead”:

Tensions flare between Tribeca and Scholls after the skull of a missing sushi chef is fished out of the ocean. Why? Because they’re in a love triangle with Geils. It actually has very little to do with the case.

UnREAL (Lifetime, 10 p.m.): Business—that’s what we’re calling summer television right now—is about to pick the fuck up. UnREAL is finally back for its second season, and we know it will eventually be back for its third season. Thank you, Lifetime. Anyway, UnREAL is back with “War,” an episode title that probably barely scratches the surface of what we (and Gwen Ihnat) should expect. “Quinn and Rachel strive to make some changes to the Everlasting format, but Chet shows up after disappearing, intent on ruining it.” Ooh, is the change the black Bachelor?!? Yeah, there’s a black Bachelor this season, you guys! Which automatically makes UnREAL more progressive than the actual Bachelor (or Bachelorette)… Not that that comparison was news to anyone from the moment the first season of UnREAL began.

Premieres and finales

NHL Stanley Cup Finals, Game 4 (NBC, 8 p.m.): Let’s go, Penguins! Let’s go, Sharks!

The 75th Anniversary Peabody Awards (Pivot, 8 p.m.): Keegan-Michael Key hosts. Here, he can get a chant too: Let’s go, Keegan!

Cake Wars (Food Network, 9 p.m.): Cake Wars returns for its fourth season with “Captain America.” Did they not get the memo about the Nazi thing? “Bakers, assemble! Cake Wars takes on one of the greatest heroes in comic book history—Captain America! Only one of four talented bakers will take their incredible cake creation to a party celebrating the super-soldier hero’s 75th birthday and take home $10,000.” Yeah, they didn’t get the memo about the Nazi thing.

Barbarians Rising (History Channel, 9 p.m.): If you like Spartacus… Then get over that, because the History Channel is getting the Roman Empire (no, not that one, Kyle Fowle) business. “Barbarians Rising tells the story of the rise and fall of the Roman Empire from the perspective of the barbarian leaders who brought it down; a high-impact, visceral journey into the heart of their rebellions against absolute power… Featuring fully dramatized portrayals of barbarian icons including Hannibal, Spartacus, Arminius, Boudica, and Attila, and an eclectic group of experts and contributors to reveal the true history behind the legends.”

Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 9/10 p.m.): Rizzoli & Isles is back for its seventh and final season—the end of an era. In the season premiere, “Two Shots: Move Forward,” “in the aftermath of a shooting, the team must use every tool at their disposal to find Alice Sands and bring her to justice before she destroys Jane’s life.” What if they just let Alice Sands (played by Annabeth Gish, by the way) ruin Rizzoli’s life and then let that aftermath be the entirety of the final season? We’d watch that.

The Vanishing Women (Investigation Discovery, 10 p.m.): Based on the network and the show’s title, we’re pretty sure you know everything that’s going down in this series premiere. So don’t say we didn’t vaguely warn you.

Regular coverage

Bloodline (Netflix)

Reign (The CW, 8 p.m.)

WWE Monday Night RAW (USA, 8 p.m.)

Wander Over Yonder (Disney XD, 8:30 p.m.)

Streaming pick

The O.C., “Premiere” (a.k.a. “Pilot”) (Hulu/CW Seed): Speaking of summer TV, how about you start binge-watching the pinnacle of summer television? You know you want to… Confidence, Cohen.

 
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