J. J. Abrams and Apple’s chief designer got drunk and created the new lightsaber

If you got pissed off about the crossguard lightsaber in the Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer, hopefully you’re also an Android devotee. Specifically, one whose red-faced rants about the iPhone (“It’s all marketing! It doesn’t even have a microSD slot! Yeah, I had a phone once that didn’t let me sideload apps—it was a Razr flip phone!”) are guaranteed to clear out any party. If so, here’s some news that will really set your bowtie spinning as steam pours from your ears: Jony Ive, the Apple design chief behind the iPod, iPhone, iPad, and iOS 7, among other products, is at least partly responsible for the new lightsaber.

According to a New Yorker profile of Ive, J.J. Abrams attributed a number of design ideas for the lightsabers featured in The Force Awakens to “very specific” suggestions the Apple executive made during what the article describes as a “boozy dinner party in New York.” While Abrams said the crossguard didn’t come from Ive, he was the source of other aspects of the new lightsabers. Most notably, Ive suggested weapons that, in Abrams’ words, are “less precise, and just a little bit more spitty…more analog and more primitive, and I think, in that way, somehow more ominous.” “More primitive—heh. Sounds just like the iPhone’s dual-core processor compared to the quad-core this baby’s got,” we imagine you quipping at a party as you whip out your Galaxy Note, oblivious to the panic in your conversation partner’s eyes. Star Wars: The Force Awakens opens on December 18.