There’s something sort of endlessly tiring about the coyness of J.K. Rowling, especially when it comes to her adult characters’ sexuality. Sure, she’ll talk about wizard shitting habits all damn day, but ask her to confirm whether the central relationship of her new spin-off movie series is sexual in nature, and the best you’ll get is a smirking “Maaaaaaybe,” followed by 20 years of obfuscation. Now, though, Rowling appears to have finally been pinned down on the topic, confirming it for once and all: Dumbledore and his old pal-turned-nemesis Grindelwald used to fuck.
This is per Radio Times, which dug into some of the home release features for The Crimes Of Grindelwald, the latest film in Rowling’s Fantastic Beasts series of movies. Among them is apparently an interview with the author/screenwriter herself, who takes time out of her busy schedule of revealing that like, Lee Jordan’s parents were secret animagus third cousins or whatever, in order to confirm that the “intense” relationship between the two powerful wizards—upon which most of the conflict of the franchise’s second film is low-key based—did, indeed, include “a sexual dimension.” Not that she wants to get bogged down in all that tawdry stuff, noting that “I’m less interested in the sexual side than I am in the sense of the emotions they felt for each other, which ultimately is the most fascinating thing about all human relationships,” which, okay, J.K..
Anyway, congratulations to Gellart Grindelwald, who managed to snag a real hottie for himself, back before he ruined it by turning into a fascist dickbag/Johnny Depp. All we can say to Jude Law’s Albus Dumbledore, meanwhile, is: Maybe get some therapy, buddy. You could do better.