Earlier this month, Oscar-winner J.K. Simmons made headlines/trending topics/The A.V. Club’s Secret Crush List (DO NOT LOOK, THAT MEANS YOU), when pictures of him getting just absolutely fucking shredded at the gym started making the internet rounds. At the time, we all assumed the jackedness of J.K. had something to do with the upcoming Justice League, in which the beloved character actor is playing Batman ally and apparent muscle boy Commissioner Jim Gordon.
Not so, according to a recent interview Simmons gave to Business Insider. “This is all coincidental,” he said, referring to the coiled pythons writhing in his sleeves. “After the second and final time that I got hugely fat in my life, and when I lost that weight six or seven years ago, I pretty much decided that I was going to stay in decent shape for the rest of my life.” Simmons’ most recent re-dedication to fitness came shortly before his award-winning performance in Whiplash, which mostly served as a workout for whichever muscles you use to scream at floppy-haired drumming dorks. But apparently the sensible suits he’s been wearing in movies like Terminatory: Genisys and The Meddler have concealed two tickets to a private, just-for-J.K. gun show, suggesting that we should probably start checking under the shirts of every character actor in his 60s to see if he’s concealing a beast within. (Coming for you, Richard Jenkins.)
Simmons did note, though, that the beard he was sporting in the photos—which made him look, at the time, like the hottest catch at the annual meeting of The Society For Weightlifting Moonshiners—was for an upcoming role, I’m Not Here, and has since been shaved off for his upcoming Justice League role.